pain pt.1

"psychological pain they say

They say I don’t know anything about being in pain.

Then some kind of emotion is making me scracht the hell my throat with my fingernails.

I ask what kind of power can do this?

Feel like I- posessed by this.

So pain huh, I live in pain! 

Been there, done there in a lot of situation.

Pain: 

You did- actually make me a believer.

I believe in pain’s posession in me. Like fear, They a lot of in common. They are violent- 

quiet- 

look, consumed the owner! 

With pain: I am breathing. 

I am alive and don’t feel like at all?

Honestly I appericiate all of pain I’ve had go through and through. Intense- 

shattering- 

shockingly familiar pain.

Coming down right inside my mind,

What would I do without my own, pain? 

Fear of leaving pain- I am in it. Prisoned by the greatest fear.

but some time comes around and

I don’t enjoy 

the prison that -it- built in front of my eyes, 

my mind is going insane. I want to take out my eyes**

                                                            my brain hurt cause, in pain- do you belive that!

I hate and love being in pain then?

Like,

What is wrong with me?

But I feel like I ment to live like this, me. An on the other side,

I think no one should have to live like this, like in this sick headspace.

I am living like me. 

Feel like,

There is no way around.

Pain: I am a true believer. 

I wouldn’t be the person I am- without you, 

pain.

Even thought I hate myself, 

at least I think; 

I am actually better than anyone else.

Better on misery.

“misery loves company” 

I was used to be the prove of this. But I am- I know I am better of myself. 

                Cause misery loves company and

You all don’t need me,

don’t need this pain inside me."